Deja Vu — Not!
Hey — you didn’t even see it the first time! Until we tell you what it was! And that’s what makes it so much fun. And us so special.
I remember when CBS TV decided to try to get some use out of the old Murrow gang. After all, they were paying them good salaries, so why not use them?
Prior to this NBC had Huntley and Brinkley. They were fun. I remember them doing the 1960 convention with their man-about-town airs and their cool headphones; it felt like watching the moon landing, except back then we didn’t know what that was. Chet Huntley would tell you the first half of what happened and then David Brinkley would submit the other half with a wry quip and a sort of ribald je né sais quoi.
And then we had CBS. Well, you can’t really fault them. They were run by Bill Paley, a failed cigar maker from Chicago who almost bankrupted the family business by bringing out a line of cigarettes that gagged people. So we had Mr. I’ve got a voice like Lorne Greene so I know better than you do Walter Cronkite. Oh, no. Then CBS afflicted us with Eric Sevareid. He’d come on and tell us what the news we’d just heard meant. I was just a kid so I didn’t know much about news or about jawbone and gums receding and so thought it was weird that he had the LONGEST BOTTOM TEETH that I had ever seen. Like some sort of aquatic mammal, for scooping dead seaweed off the sea bed. But there he was, every night, a looming presence, leaning forward, his shoulders hunched, his teeth poised to scoop any unwary seabeds, and then we were told what to think of the news. I remember Nixon going absolutely wild about this. He’d give a speech and the Sevareid and Harry Reasoner (what a name for a newsman, eh?) would tell the people what the speech MEANT. Nixon, silly boy, would think that he said what he meant to say. He was always proved wrong.
So, today, when you read articles in Time and Slate which tell you that you are an absolute moron for NOT ACTING RIGHT I just wanted you to know there is a long and dishonorable history to it.
Well, he was the first. But not the only. As Harry Truman said about reporters,
They’re just like a bunch of young pups — once one of ‘em pisses on a fire hydrant, then they’ve all got to do it
And now they are all calling us stupid. Boy are we dummies for not doing what the current bottom-scoopers are telling us to.
Good for us.
