nolanimrod on July 23rd, 2015

Today the usu­ally per­spi­ca­cious folks at Pow­er­line show­cased what they called a clinic for Repub­li­can can­di­dates when Carly Fio­r­ina answered a per­sis­tent Jake Tap­per who kept demand­ing to know about her sup­port for a ban on abor­tions after 20 weeks ges­ta­tion. Would she, the gimlet-​​eyed, steely-​​voiced Tap­per demanded, sup­port excep­tions in cases of rape or incest?

This is a clas­sic exam­ple of the magi­cian dis­tract­ing your atten­tion by get­ting you to focus on his left hand, which is repeat­edly shuf­fling a deck of cards, while his right hand makes a tray of daiquiris and serves them to the peo­ple in the first row, leav­ing you puz­zling about why the first row seems to be enjoy­ing the show more than the rest of the audience.

The Pow­er­line folks applauded Carly Fio­r­ina for throw­ing the ques­tion back in Tapper’s lap and telling him to ask, instead, ques­tions about abor­tion to Hillary Clinton.

Fiorina’s per­for­mance was, undoubt­edly, a com­pe­tent politician’s per­for­mance, which may be suf­fi­cient for now because she isn’t, after all, a politician.

What she missed, and what Pow­er­line missed her miss­ing, was an his­toric, epochal, sound-​​barrier-​​shattering moment:

Every time some­body, any­body, tries to restrict abor­tions in any way it takes less than a mil­lisec­ond for some­body to say

What about in cases of rape or incest?

We’re not talk­ing about abor­tion per se here. We’re talk­ing about abor­tion after 20 weeks ges­ta­tion. 20 weeks is about 5 months. Close to Her­man Gos­nell ter­ri­tory.  So why, Carly might have said, is that even a ques­tion? She might have continued,

Who gets raped by any­one or snug­gled by a close rel­a­tive and takes five months to fig­ure it out? And if some­one does, does it hap­pen often enough that we need to use our time hash­ing out the fine points? What’s next? Angels on the head of a pin?

And that might have been the last time we’d have to lis­ten to the media’s ver­sion of Row, Row Your Abor­tion Boat.


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Is HBO really try­ing to cen­sor a fighter’s box­ing trunks because they sport an ammo company’s logo? That seems to be the mes­sage the folks at Hot Air are tak­ing away from HBO’s con­tract nego­ti­a­tions with one of the top pro boxers, Sergey Kovalev.

Nor­mally I would leap on this like white on rice, as they used to say in St. Bernard Parish when it still existed, but as both the Hot Air blog post and its source from the National Shoot­ing Sports Foun­da­tion  seemed just a wee bit u-​​r-​​g-​​e-​​n-​​t and as nei­ther blog post addressed what was actu­ally said I couldn’t escape the sus­pi­cion that the real issue might just be a gen­eral ban on turn­ing box­ing trunks into bill­boards, just like Pete Rozelle’s ban­ning Jim McMahon’s Nike head­band for Super­bowl XX.

But if the issue was really that HBO didn’t want to be asso­ci­ated in any way with guns then they have raised the hypocrisy bar so high that the word had bet­ter be retired because nobody will ever again deserve it.


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nolanimrod on July 20th, 2015

On the day my daugh­ter was born the super­star of the neo-​​natal ward was one Caitlin Finn. A beau­ti­ful, happy, hearty girl. Hearty might be the oper­a­tive word. Caitlin was 13 pounds.

For com­par­i­son, that same day my own daugh­ter was born. Accom­pa­nied by noises I didn’t know the human throat could make. She was an ounce under 7.5 pounds.

So, Caitlin, as you are all starry-​​eyed about being a real woman, and we are all root­ing for you, let’s go! Have at it. We are all sure you’re just itchin’ to be deliv­ered of a baby at least that robust!


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nolanimrod on July 20th, 2015

Heather McDon­ald has a new arti­cle out about Micro Aggressions.

When I first heard about Micro Aggres­sions I thought they’d work some­thing like this:

You bump into some­body who was recently made a Vis­count and you say, “Par­don me” instead of “Par­don me, Your Lordship.”

Then I thought it was some­thing like my mother used to tell me was fun:

You go to a con­cert, sit where the flute play­ers can see you, make eye con­tact with the flute play­ers and, then just when their one big pas­sage is com­ing up, suck on a lemon slice.

Recently I thought it might be to go to a meet­ing of the ACLU or the NAACP, some­thing with ini­tials, any­way, and, when there was a lull in the con­ver­sa­tion, hum the themesong from The Dukes of Haz­ard.  Just a good old boy, …

But, no. Heather informs us that the great­est lat­est Bushitler-​​Chimpy-​​Seinfeld is… wait for it …

Atten­dees at the sem­i­nar were sub­jected to an “inter­ac­tive the­ater sce­nario” called “Ready to Vote?” that showed white male computer-​​science pro­fes­sors on a fic­tional hir­ing com­mit­tee belit­tling females and fail­ing to “value diversity.”

Ah. Com­puter Sci­ence Pro­fes­sors. Yup. That’s a pretty rum lot. It is even rumored that a few of them are ter­ri­fied of an alli­ga­tor with a tick­ing alarm clock in his belly because they are con­vinced the clock isn’t dig­i­tal. Keel-​​hauling is too good for them. Aarrrgh!

You really have to be care­ful in Acad­eme. A few years ago some wag at ASU typed up a Sex­ual Harass­ment Con­sent Form which listed a bunch of items next to lit­tle boxes you could check. Items like: It’s OK to stare at my breasts when you’re talk­ing to me.

Well, the peo­ple who write the new rules on the Ani­mal Farm barn each night do not cot­ton to rib­aldry. So the entire staff of the ASU physics depart­ment was fired. If they had things like rent to pay, kids to feed, or second-​​hand VW’s need­ing gas, tough! Ha-​​ha-​​ha-​​ha-​​ha! Just try and get a job in another physics depart­ment in a state with a total of 37 physics depart­ment employees!

These are, after all the Archons of Acad­eme. Where we all need surely be. No short-​​lived enthu­si­asts they! Just ask ‘em. Today: Caitlin Jen­ner is the bravest man woman being life form Large Butt (LgBt?) on the planet! And we care about he she him her it what? Because Dar­fur was so yes­ter­day. Like­wise #BRING BACK OUR GIRLS.

Because Tranny is Tym­pani! (drum­roll, please).

Now, let’s hear more about those Micro Com­puter Sci­ence Pro­fes­sors. Are they now, or have they ever been DENIERS?

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